Tuesday, October 15, 2019

Grief Doula


Doulas offer support services during labor and delivery and also postpartum when parents are physically and emotionally spent. As I lay in bed reading Dear Cheyenne and connecting with my own grief eight years out, I thought how nice it would be to have a grief doula. The doula would cook soul soothing food (for me, rich soups, pork in any variation and plenty of sweets), make tea/coffee, cover me with a heavy blanket when I sat down to read and journal. The doula would also be unfazed by the intense emotions pouring forth from across the spectrum; quietly moving breakable things out of the way when rage sets in and I physically lash out. Sitting with me while I howl in anguish and choke on my tears. Tucking me in for a nap after all the exhausting grief work.

I think this fantasy stems in part from the solitude of grief; how alone I sometimes feel with all the thoughts and feelings; with the weight of grief. Part of it, obviously, is inspired by how vulnerable I feel when I surrender to my grief. The idea of having someone take care of me when I’m feeling shattered instead of the status quo - me taking care of everyone else in my household.

Maybe there’s a business venture here…