Doulas offer support services during labor and delivery and
also postpartum when parents are physically and emotionally spent. As I lay in
bed reading Dear Cheyenne and connecting with my own grief eight years out, I
thought how nice it would be to have a grief doula. The doula would cook soul
soothing food (for me, rich soups, pork in any variation and plenty of sweets),
make tea/coffee, cover me with a heavy blanket when I sat down to read and
journal. The doula would also be unfazed by the intense emotions pouring forth from
across the spectrum; quietly moving breakable things out of the way when rage
sets in and I physically lash out. Sitting with me while I howl in anguish and
choke on my tears. Tucking me in for a nap after all the exhausting grief work.
I think this fantasy stems in part from the solitude of
grief; how alone I sometimes feel with all the thoughts and feelings; with the
weight of grief. Part of it, obviously, is inspired by how vulnerable I feel
when I surrender to my grief. The idea of having someone take care of me when I’m
feeling shattered instead of the status quo - me taking care of everyone else
in my household.
Maybe there’s a business venture here…
