tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4529428189543496698.post5819607759696321247..comments2023-02-15T02:59:06.380-08:00Comments on Griefland: Not HimPieces of Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05246193199805990821noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4529428189543496698.post-56705818184875783052012-10-21T17:44:47.569-07:002012-10-21T17:44:47.569-07:00Yes, is it too much to ask to have both of our chi...Yes, is it too much to ask to have both of our children here, alive? <br /><br />Boringly normal is all I want. Even when I project what life with A would be like these days I try to be realistic like how he may be getting into trouble at daycare for biting or how there would be days when I would be burnt out from Mommy duties. I want poopy diaper blow-outs, I want ear infections and inoculations. I want teething and parenting challenges. Pieces of Mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05246193199805990821noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4529428189543496698.post-22967534544204452552012-10-19T15:19:06.006-07:002012-10-19T15:19:06.006-07:00Some days, worryingly, I think I will never stop w...Some days, worryingly, I think I will never stop wanting to have children... I will want more and more and it will never be enough because it will never be him. Don't get me wrong, I love Hugo so so much, but it's so strange to think that he wouldn't exist if Seamus hadn't died. I just want them both. I wish I could just have them both -here, alive, happy healthy... boringly normal. Aoifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09002790029609631639noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4529428189543496698.post-14725685312080449402012-09-23T11:34:34.200-07:002012-09-23T11:34:34.200-07:00Wise words from a Momma who has made it to the oth...Wise words from a Momma who has made it to the other side. Thank you Renel. I think of you and your entire 5-member family often.Pieces of Mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05246193199805990821noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4529428189543496698.post-22636198146721393112012-09-22T14:01:49.769-07:002012-09-22T14:01:49.769-07:00Yes...people are not replaceable...Dragon is not A...Yes...people are not replaceable...Dragon is not A and you will always want and miss A. Stroke your belly and think of both of your children. Stroke it and love them and want them both. send thoughts of life to Dragon and cry tears of loss for A. A mother of two is never filled with only one emotion and is rarely thinking of just one child... you heart is big enough for them both, hugs to you sweet mama.Renelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08490888250385942221noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4529428189543496698.post-88721525699479375622012-09-18T11:20:30.309-07:002012-09-18T11:20:30.309-07:00"I just want him. Even if Dragon makes it her..."I just want him. Even if Dragon makes it here safely, I'm still going to want A." Me too. My heart will never accept that Liam is gone. My heart will always ache for him, no matter if his sibling makes it or not. An irreplaceable void will always remain.<br /><br />I get what you mean about it sometimes feeling like last year all over again. J and I have experienced so many "déjà vu" moments in this pregnancy that leaves us speechless at times. We are taking many of the same steps that we took last year, and all we can do is hope that we can get past 24 weeks when Liam died, and to our 28-week goal, the same goal we had for our Liam. Its so strange to have a goal to pass when your last child died.<br /><br />My feelings and thoughts have been so tangled lately that I find it hard to come up with the words. I'm not posting these days on my blog, but i'm here, reading and walking this journey with you. I'm 21 weeks now, we are so close in our gestations. My email is tashmomy@gmail.com if ever you want to talk. For now my heart is sending you, A and baby #2 love. xx <br />Tashhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07078703799477411588noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4529428189543496698.post-57508420059494538032012-09-17T15:58:58.846-07:002012-09-17T15:58:58.846-07:00"Every cell of my being is so keenly aware th..."Every cell of my being is so keenly aware that he's not in my arms. I don't know how to reconcile the animal longing for my baby with the brain understanding this loss. Maddening." So true Suzanne.Pieces of Mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05246193199805990821noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4529428189543496698.post-87340413680397808512012-09-17T11:38:06.475-07:002012-09-17T11:38:06.475-07:00I don't know how we can expect the heart to ac...I don't know how we can expect the heart to accept that our babies are gone forever. I know that my heart refuses to accept it. I long for Nathaniel so much - to hold him, to nurse him, to nurture him, to mother him. . .Every cell of my being is so keenly aware that he's not in my arms. I don't know how to reconcile the animal longing for my baby with the brain understanding this loss. Maddening. <br /><br />Sending love to you and A, the new little one growing, and however many more come <3Suzannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01955054876521178314noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4529428189543496698.post-20208551670738575022012-09-16T17:13:55.367-07:002012-09-16T17:13:55.367-07:00Oh, I feel I know exactly how you feel. I wrote a...Oh, I feel I know exactly how you feel. I wrote about it last week...that he didn't have to die. He should not have died. I'll always need him to be ok. No matter how many new children follow. Instincts are roaring...caring for the new, but desperately needing the first to be here....okay...with you. I'm looking forward to the next...when that time comes...but it's crushing, but yes...I too have to remind myself, it's not Alexander. So, my excitement gets curbed. And I have to find a brand new way to look at being pregnant again. It won't be A.<br /><br />I'm just so so sorryVeronicahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06281894679573984580noreply@blogger.com